Road Slobs Trash Cemetery

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 What kind of road slob tosses his garbage into a cemetery? A disgusting, uncaring, unthinking slob, that’s who.

My garbage walk last week from my house up the road alongside my woodlot resulted in one full bag of garbage and another of returnable bottles and cans. As I’ve said before, road slobs drink Bud Lite and smoke Marlboro cigarettes.

Most shocking was the garbage tossed into the cemetery next to my woodlot. I hope those slobs enjoyed their McDonald’s lunch and their Bud Lite. But why did they think it was ok to leave their garbage in a cemetery? Shameful!

Likewise, I picked up some garbage and a Bud Lite bottle alongside Baxter Park's perimeter road last week. I was astonished that someone enjoying that beautiful park would trash it.

I must thank the legislature for adding a 5 cent deposit requirement on those plastic nips bottles. I pick up a lot of those. Can’t wait for the deposit to kick in. It will add a lot to my retirement fund.

Apparently the fast food purchased in Augusta runs out as those eaters are driving by my woodlot. I once suggested I’d bag all that McDonald’s garbage and dump it in their Augusta yard, but of course, I’d be arrested.

And what’s with those huge plastic containers of tea and other beverages. Why aren’t they returnable?

I picked up some napkins today, and I admire those folks for wanting to keep themselves clean and neat. But why do they think it’s alright to toss those napkins out the window and trash my beautiful forest?

The most interesting item picked up was a disc from Skin Magazine, and judging from the photo on the disc, I think there must have been some very interesting photos on that disc. Alas, it was broken into pieces, so I couldn't check on that.

I would like to make a plea to all road slobs: please make sure you toss out those bottles far enough to hit the soft sand or gravel. It’s a real mess when they break up after hitting the pavement – and they are no longer returnable.

I’m ready to ban smoking, eating, and drinking in motor vehicles. Are you with me?

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